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Journal: Adventure Above The Border
by thedonoman
I recently spent the night in Montreal, Canada. And even though Degrassi is filmed a few hours West in Toronto, I learned a lot of interesting things about the cold climated, politically neutral country to our North. Again, you might be asking, "is thedonoman's journal important enough to read?" I’ll be the first to tell you that the answer is still no, but I tried to tie in some Degrassi references. Here's a run down of some fun facts and tips if you're planning a trip to Canada.
- The first thing you'll notice once you get past the border is that all of a sudden you’ve got way more miles to drive than you did before. “Hey, didn’t that last sign say 55 more miles….what’s with this 110 to go now?” If you’re smart you’ll then realize that there’s not a Bermuda triangle effect going on, but that Canada uses the Metric System. Apparently Canada doesn’t recognize that they are East of the Atlantic Ocean. A good explanation for why Toby’s weight was in Kilo’s in “Mirror in the Bathroom.”
- Then of course there's one other large cultural difference, but this one really depends on the region of the country you're in. If like in my case, you are in Quebec, everyone speaks French. Although, they're so used to dealing with us stupid American tourists, that most of them understand English too. This helps when you’re trying to check into your hotel and you don’t even know what BienVenue means.
- While walking the streets, unfortunately I didn’t run into anyone named “Skinny.” Although, one guy came up to me and asked for two dollars, which I gave him. He probably spent it on cheap liquor and then searched the rest of night for crack. But he was the only homeless guy who took the time to introduce himself and make up a story for why he needed the cash. I feel good knowing he can now make his imaginary car payment.
- Here’s one that really surprised me. The instant I sat down at the Peel Pub, I became the biggest Toronto Blue Jays fan in the city. This was especially surprising because I’m a die hard Red Sox fan. Something about that Roy Halladay…
- People actually do say "eh", however not as much as Cassie Steele did in her Degrassi Unscripted. It was more of this type of thing, "hey, the bars not too busy eh?" We were polite and replied “it’s not too bad…eh”. Although, I have a hard time believing this guy was 
surprised that the bar was empty at 7pm.
- I now know what Kevin Smith felt like when every Canadian Broadcaster was giving him hell for wearing shorts. A security guard best summed it up by saying, “shorts up here, its too cold.” Put aside the fact that it was just as warm as in my hometown where people do wear shorts this time of year. I suppose it’s just not the style in Canada.
- Remember when Craig was eating French fries and gravy in episode 401/402? Maybe Mr. Simpson was pissed about it being near keyboards, but most Canadians love it all the time. Burger King (and basically any food outlet in the city) carries something called Poutine. It's normal French fries with gravy and cheese all mixed around. For those of you wondering, forks are free.
- The NHL is in lock down right? You wouldn’t notice, because every other channel on TV airs hockey 24/7. I’m not even sure who the hell was playing, I guess it doesn’t matter. They love that damn sport. “Go Dylan, kick some hockey butt!”
- Depending on where you are in Canada the drinking age is only 18. I already knew this (that was actually the reason we went), but for those of you who didn't know, that's why Paige and Hazel were able to get believable I.D.'s in episode "Neutron Dance." And also, why Spinner tries to get something on tap in "I Want Candy."
- And the most memorable thing about Canada is that the hardest part is leaving. And no, not because you just fall in love with the blue jays, poutine and beer at 3am. Because the American Border Patrol are the biggest assholes in the entire world.
“Do you have any narcoitcs in the car.”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes."
“If I tear the car apart I won’t find any?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Do you listen to yourself when you talk….”
“Alright, we’re gonna go ahead and search the trunk."
In contrast to our trip into Canada where the Patrol Officer barely looked up from his magazine as we breezed past the border and on our way.
Way to be Canada, keep it real.
The above article was published by dTNGHO, please credit if cited or used (You MUST link back to this site).
author contact info: donovan@korn.zzn.com
